


Despairingly Uncomfortable

by zenonaa



Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: Gen, Never Have I Ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 09:34:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3129701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zenonaa/pseuds/zenonaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Junko' talks everyone into playing a game of Never Have I Ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Despairingly Uncomfortable

As soon as everyone seated themselves around the longest table in the cafeteria, Junko slapped down her hands so all heads turned toward her.

“Let’s play ‘Never Have I Ever’.” Junko positioned her lips into a confident, spunky grin that she swept across the rest of her classmates’ faces. “We all put our hands on the table, take turns saying ‘never have I ever’ somethinged and everyone who has somethinged has to tuck a finger into their hand. The winner is the only person with at least one finger out at the end. Capisce?”

Aoi scratched at her nose while Touko twiddled her fingers on her lap. Kiyotaka coughed into the back of his hand.

Junko maintained her smile but couldn’t help thinking that it made more sense when Junko, the real Junko, explained it to Mukuro, her, the fake Junko.

“You’ll get the hang of it really quickly,” she promised. “It’s a bonding game, right?” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Byakuya start to rise from his chair. “And if we all know each other better, we’ll know everyone’s strengths and weaknesses.”

Byakuya settled back onto his chair, pretending that he only meant to stretch a little. Thirty hands were soon set down onto the table, creating a large squircle.

“I’ll kick things off.” Junko crossed one leg over the other and leaned forward. “Never have I ever had a birthday party.”

Aoi blinked. “Not even one?”

“Nope,” said Junko. “Everyone always went out on a date instead, you know? That’s what people do on Christmas Eve.”

To her delight, only Makoto and Sayaka curled a finger inward.

Junko beamed. “Really, just you two? What about you, Ishimaru?”

Kiyotaka’s brow twitched. “Of course not, I’ve always been far too busy preparing for the second term of school to bother with such unimportant matters.”

For a moment, his face softened, but he quickly hardened his features.

“Eating a meal with my family suits me just fine,” he announced.

Which, of course, was why Mondo and Leon had told Kiyotaka that they needed help on their maths homework in order to get him to leave his room and attend the surprise birthday party in the gymnasium. Cake, streamers, babyish party games... once high-strung Ishimaru allowed himself to unwind just a bit, he unravelled like the ribbons on his birthday presents and ended the night singing ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ with Hifumi and Yasuhiro.

Not that he would remember that ever happening.

“Let’s go clockwise,” Junko said, nudging her elbow against Yasuhiro’s arm. “Your turn, big guy.”

“All right, let’s see...” Yasuhiro tapped his chin. “Never have I... ever been on a date.”

Touko curled a finger inward while Byakuya did not. This pleased Junko greatly. Sakura tucked in a finger, as did Makoto.

“Two fingers already,” Junko commented with a grin, shaking her head in mock disappointment at Makoto. “You’re not as herbivore as I thought, are you, Naegi?”

He reddened.

Leon waved a fist.

“Hey, it’s my turn now, right? Never,” he paused, pretending to scan his mind for something suitable to say, “have I ever given a blowjob.”

Someone yelled. It sounded like Aoi. Sayaka clapped her hands over her mouth, not quite hiding the pink spreading across her cheeks, and Touko attempted to repeat what he said without saying the second syllable of the final word.

Sakura and Mondo cracked their knuckles at the same time.

“I’m messing with you!” Leon laughed and flashed his palms. “You’re all a bunch of prudes, you know?”

Most of the class were glaring at him still.

He added, “What I meant to say was never have I ever... studied for a test.”

Kiyotaka’s finger curled inward immediately. Sayaka followed suit, then Byakuya and soon the rest of the class was down another finger.

“Not bad, huh?” Leon rubbed his knuckles against his chest, gaze cast downward and smirking freely. “Bet you wished you’d kept the first never have I ever.”

“W-What a filthy pervert!” Touko snarled, her fingers thrashing together until they interlocked. “Th-This is just a ploy to get me to... to disclose pr-private information for blackmail!”

Her eyes widened and then narrowed into slits that oozed indignation.

“You’re all conspiring against me!” she said through her teeth.

Leon’s eyes flitted to her face. One end of his mouth curled upward. “You know, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about unless you’ve got something private to hide.”

Touko jabbed a finger in his direction and opened her mouth.

Sakura cleared her throat. “There will be no more questions of that nature. It is irrelevant to learning how to get along and it is only proving to form rifts between certain members of the group, which is counterproductive and not to mention most uncomfortable for the majority of us present.”

Incoherent grumbles bubbled in Touko’s mouth, petering out into awkward silence. She slumped in her chair and rolled her lips inward, her arms folded tightly over her chest.

Junko looked down the table and put on her best casually sympathetic face. “Hey, don’t be like that. No more dirty questions, okay?”

If Touko dropped out then everyone else would soon find an excuse to as well. She winked at Touko before turning to Chihiro.

“Your go, Fujisaki,” said Junko. “Let’s try to keep the game moving.”

Chihiro’s head tilted forward in thought, legs swinging unsynchronised. “Um... Never have I ever...”

Hifumi yawned. Aoi shot him a dirty look and he straightened up.

“Never have I ever been outside Japan,” said Chihiro.

Byakuya, Junko, Sayaka, Sakura and Kyouko curled a finger inward.

A smile spread across Junko’s lips. Their school trip to France would have counted, and what a school trip that had been. Only a few members of the class could speak French and only she and Byakuya spoke it fluently. Regardless, they all spent several nights gathering in their shared rooms to talk about themselves and the trip succeeded in strengthening their bonds.

All that was gone now. Erased.

“I suppose it’s my turn,” said Celes. She didn’t wait for someone to confirm her statement. “Never have I ever seen a dead body.”

No one moved, taking a moment to possess her words because she spoke them so casually.

Celes raised her eyebrows and touched a hand to her parted lips. “Oh? None of you have?”

Kiyotaka flushed. “Of course none of us...”

Mondo curled a finger inward.

The rest of the sentence died in Kiyotaka’s throat. For a few moments, he could only stare, but then he shook his head and recovered, still staring though now able to talk. “O-Oowada-kun?”

“A lot of shit goes down in gangs,” Mondo explained gruffly, not meeting Kiyotaka’s eyes.

Touko’s finger dragged across the table as she closed it into her palm.

“Huh?” Aoi’s mouth slackened. “F-Fukawa-chan...?”

Byakuya propped up his elbow onto the table and rested his cheek on his knuckles, watching Touko with slight interest. “Oh? Where have you seen a dead body?”

“I...” Touko averted her gaze downward and swallowed, eyeing Byakuya’s finger as it retreated to under his hand. “In... the n-news!”

She looked away completely.

“Online!” she squawked. Byakuya frowned.

Junko curled in a finger. “I guess we’ll count that.”

Though, strictly speaking, all of them had seen a dead body by the time their second year came to an end. Not that any of them knew they had already attended this school for two years. To them, they had only been here a matter of days.

“Oogami?” asked Junko.

Sakura blinked then gave a curt nod. “Never have I ever...”

She chewed on her lower lip in thought and then lifted her chin.

“... been to a sleepover,” she said.

Sayaka crooked a finger. No one else.

“... Huh,” said Junko. “That’s a surprise. So you’ve never been to one, Oogami?”

Elaboration coated the end of Junko’s tongue, threatening to drip off and give too much information away. You’ve never been to a sleepover, Oogami? You’ve never had Asahina invite you to her room, Oogami? You’ve never sat in a ring of pillows with the other girls in your class, or let Maizono and Celes do your makeup, or Enoshima paint your toenails, or Fukawa read aloud from one of her books as Kirigiri sipped hot chocolate nearby? Can’t you remember that, Oogami?

“No,” said Sakura. “I have not.”

By now, Sayaka was nearly down one hand. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear before returning her hand to the table.

After Sakura was Aoi, who scrunched up her face as she considered her options. Her fingers tapped the table individually, one after another, before falling flat. “Never have I ever... um... had a boyfriend?”

Only Sakura lost a finger.

Touko wringed her hands. “Define... boyfriend.”

Junko flapped her hand one way.

“Seriously? It’s not like it’s hard to understand. If someone were to ask if you had a boyfriend,” she flapped her hand the opposite way, “and you were to say ‘yes’, then it’s a boyfriend.”

She bared her teeth into a toothy grin.

“Unless it’s a secret boyfriend, but a good girl like you wouldn’t be into those,” she teased.

“... Gah!” Touko slowly folded a finger inward.

Two. Only two. Way less than there should have been.

Perfect.

“You haven’t had a boyfriend?” asked Leon, ogling Junko before realising that Sayaka hadn’t so much as twitched her finger. “And neither have you?”

“I’m saving myself for someone special,” Junko explained and Sayaka nodded in agreement.

Touko narrowed her eyes at Junko and muttered something.

“Huh?” Junko cupped a hand around her ear. “What was that?”

“Never have I ever cried at a movie,” Kyouko interjected loudly so Junko only managed to catch a misogynistic slur from Touko.

Junko decided to let the matter drop and aimed a small smile at Kyouko. It seemed Kyouko had forgotten about that time the class watched Lilo and Stitch.

Several more fingers hid under hands. The only ones that didn’t were Byakuya’s, Touko’s, Hifumi’s, Celes’s and Leon’s.

Leon arched an eyebrow at Mondo’s fist. “Really?”

Mondo squinted one eye. “You never seen Marley and Me or something?”

“... No?”

“Oh, that film is so sad,” said Sayaka, clasping her hands together. “I cried for ages afterwards!”

A snort burst out of Mondo’s nose and he kneaded his eyes with the back of his hand. “Shit, you’re going to get me going if you talk about that...”

Kiyotaka loudly cleared his throat.

Sayaka, who had leaned sideways over Makoto so she could reach Mondo’s hand and pat it, straightened up and looked toward Kiyotaka, who thumped his chest two times with his fist.

“Never have I ever been late for class,” said Kiyotaka.

Only Byakuya didn’t shift his finger to his palm.

Okay, so none of that had changed during the last two years. Whatever. Junko suspected there would be a few wasted turns. No big deal.

Hifumi stroked his chin. “It appears the clock hand has struck the fateful hour and proclaimed it my time to speak my mind. My friends...”

Byakuya clicked his tongue at the usage of ‘friends’.

“... never have I ever tinkled in the shower.”

“T-Tinkled?” Touko widened her eyes.

Yasuhiro was a finger less.

She jerked her head around and glared down the table at Yasuhiro. “Y-You’ve... tinkled in the shower?”

The skin above her nose bunched up.

“That’s filthy! You’re... Y-You’re a filthy man! And a debauchee while we’re at it!” Touko laced her fingers through her hair.

“W-Wait, Fukawa-chi...!” Yasuhiro patted the air, forcing the ends of his lips to curl upward. His eyes gave away his mortification. “Everyone does it, ‘right?”

“I don’t!” Touko shrieked, balling her fists and disheveling her hair even more. “You’re dirty... and probably obsessed with water sports too!”

“Eh?” Hifumi whipped his head around. “W-Water sports...?”

Aoi shifted in her seat. “It all goes down the drain, doesn’t it...? And it saves time too...”

Touko counted Aoi’s fingers. “Y-You as well?”

“All of you are absolutely vile,” said Byakuya. “I’m going to make myself forget your names and have nothing more to do with you henceforth.”

Junko wished she brought popcorn.

“You’re getting clean anyway,” Mondo blurted out, also with another finger tucked out of view. He averted his gaze, blushing slightly. “I mean, it’s just piss...”

“The toilet is the appropriate place for that particular activity!” Kiyotaka looked absolutely aghast. “Not... where you get clean!”

Yasuhiro swished a hand. “You guys don’t get it. Like, after you go to the toilet, you use toilet paper that’s been near the toilet to wipe your junk, ‘right?”

Sayaka stuck a finger into the corner of her mouth and seemed to shrink in on herself. Chihiro cringed, having no intention of removing their hands from their face until the game got back on track. Everyone else showed various levels of discomfort.

“But the pee that doesn’t get on the paper is smeared around your junk, yeah?” Yasuhiro carried on. Touko’s face hit the table with a thunk that he ignored. “In the shower, it’s all just washed away and you can even use soap to make it smell good.”

Byakuya pressed his lips into a thin line. “You’re not supposed to use soap, you twit. You use warm water or otherwise you’ll irritate the skin.”

Touko rolled her head to the side and peeked up. Her gaze flickered between Byakuya’s face and the lowest visible area of him that was above the surface of the table.

“Let’s progress the game, shall we?” Byakuya let out a small sigh and folded his arms over his chest. He twisted his neck so he looked left. “Never have I ever used public transport.”

Everyone else curled in a finger.

Leon raised an eyebrow. “You’re seriously telling us that you’ve never been on a train or a bus... or anything?”

Byakuya elevated his chin. “Of course not.” Excluding the time that he and Touko took the bus to a café once. “I have a chauffeur or my family’s pilot take me wherever I need to go.”

Mondo and Makoto glanced at each other.

“Are you for real?” Leon finally asked.

“I’m not going to waste my breath answering that,” said Byakuya, despite the fact he used a lot more breath saying that than a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ would. “Fukawa, you’re next. And sit up, for goodness sake.”

Touko lurched upward and said, “N-Never... Never have I... ever...”

Her eyes searched the room for inspiration.

“Never have I ever... read a porn magazine!” she blurted.

A squeak popped out of Aoi’s mouth.

“Hey.” Junko’s brow furrowed. “I thought you didn’t want anyone to ask anything dirty.”

“You allowed the piss question!” Touko’s lips twitched into a smirk. “Or do you have something to hide?”

Junko puffed out her cheeks.

“Choose something else,” said Sakura.

“F-Fine.” Touko glared at Junko. “Never have I ever... gone on holiday.”

Most people moved a finger. Only Kiyotaka and Yasuhiro kept still, though Yasuhiro uncurled the finger that he shifted after her first statement.

“It’s my turn now,” said Sayaka, who only had three fingers to spare. She tilted her head to one side and smiled. “Never have I ever nursed a crane back to health.”

Makoto curled in a finger.

Junko pulled a face. What a waste of a statement.

“A crane?” Aoi asked. “Like... a bird? You helped one get better?”

“Y-Yeah,” said Makoto, rubbing the back of his neck and trying not to grin too hard.

Sakura nodded. “That is impressive, Naegi. Perhaps you can recount to us your actions in greater detail over lunch.”

“It was very impressive,” agreed Sayaka. “I saw him do it as well. Naegi-kun is so cool.”

Makoto’s cheeks set aflame.

Leon waved a hand, sharing Junko’s indifference on the topic.

“Yeah, yeah. Real cool. I’ve had my share of birds too, if you know what I mean.” He winked. No one offered so much as a smile at his witticism. The ends of his lips drooped and he said in a dull tone, “Naegi, you’re next.”

“Ah!” Makoto jumped in his seat and turned away from Sayaka. “Hm...”

Tension drained out of his body, remaining in just his face as he pondered.

“Never have I ever...” Makoto trailed off.

Byakuya rolled his eyes. “This shouldn’t take you so long. There are many things that I doubt someone like you has done.”

Had Aoi been sitting near him, she would have probably kicked him from under the table. Mondo too, going by his face.

Makoto’s gaze fell onto Leon. “Never have I ever dyed my hair.”

Leon curled a finger, as did Sayaka and Yasuhiro.

Yasuhiro gestured to his hair. “I dyed it green for December once and my mum put lots of tinsel and baubles in it.”

“No one asked,” said Byakuya. This was why only one person ever chose to sit with him at mealtimes.

Chihiro hummed. “Like a Christmas tree?”

They lifted their hand to their mouth and resumed chewing on a fingernail.

“Yep!” Yasuhiro beamed. “I would have put fairy lights in there too but that’s a fire hazard.”

“A pity,” Celes lamented. “I would have quite liked to see that for myself. It sounds rather quaint.”

“S’my turn now,” said Mondo, rubbing the underside of his nose with a finger. “Let’s see...”

His face contorted in thought.

“Never have... I ever got an A in a test,” said Mondo.

Junko watched fingers disappear. Byakuya. Touko. Sakura. Celes. Chihiro. Kiyotaka. Kyouko. Sayaka.

Sayaka had two closed fists.

“Aw,” said Junko with feigned disappointment. “Maizono lost first. Talk about a bummer.”

“It’s all right,” said Sayaka, smiling in that obnoxious, genuine way of hers. Or maybe she had perfected faking smiles. “That just means I’ve done a lot of things, doesn’t it? That’s nothing to be sad about.”

The real Junko would have vomited right there and then. This Junko instead turned her attention to Mondo. “You’ve never got an A?”

Mondo shook his head. He hadn’t, not until he took part in regular study sessions with Kiyotaka. His first A almost brought him out in tears and he ended up hugging the air out of anyone in close proximity for the rest of the day.

“Oh well,” said Junko, keeping her tone light. “Oogami only has one finger left and now it’s my turn. I’ll choose something simple so Maizono isn’t alone.”

She rapped her nails on the table and her lips cracked into a long, thin grin. Now was time for the final test. The final nail in the coffin that would have the real Junko reduced to a fit of laughter in her compact spying area.

“Never have I ever had one close human friend,” she said.

No one moved. Everyone looked despairingly uncomfortable.


End file.
